On days like today, I am quite certain that my little sweet-niks simply cannot hear me.  It isn’t that they cannot hear (although one of them used to have a hearing loss), and it isn’t that they have an auditory processing deficit (although quite a percentage of them do), and it isn’t that they are having trouble paying attention for a medical reason (which, they most certainly are).  While I have no research to support this, I am quite certain that there is an electrical short that occurs on days like today, causing their brains to emit a low pitched buzzzzzzing sound inside their heads.

Through this sound they can hear the hint of my voice, a vague idea that someone is making noise in their general vicinity, but their brains are unable to link the sounds they hear to things they know.  Additionally, they are not able to connect the visual cues of someone standing in front of them giving directions, to sounds in their brain. This makes the following of simple directions difficult at best.  In fact, it confuses them to no end. Here is what a typical classroom conversation looks like when the Buzzing Disease has infected the room:

Teacher says: “How was your break?”
Student hears: “How was your break?”
Student translates: “Oh, we have free time?”

Teacher says: “Go ahead and get started on your work.”
Student hears: “Go ahead and bzzzzzzzzzzz.”
Student translates: “Oh cool!  We have free time!”

Teacher says: “Take out your orange folder, please.”
Student hears: “bzzzz out buzzzzzz please”
Student assumes: “Wow!  We still get free time? This is SO cool!”

Teacher says: “I see you are having a hard time hearing me today.  Give me a moment here–please get your orange folder out.”
Student hears: “Bzzzzzzzz please do something bzzzzzzzzz.”
Student assumes: “I’ll bet she wants me to have a pencil out.  Too bad I don’t have one.  *smile*

Teacher says: “LOVIES!!!!  WHERE ARE YOU???”
Student hears: “Bzzz BZZZ Bzzz Bzzz” (but sees visual cue of concern on teacher’s face)
Student assumes: “Someone must be in trouble.  So glad it isn’t me.  *smile*

I love them, I do.  Seriously though, someone needs to find a cure for the Pre-Teen Buzzing Disease.  I’ll offer up my room for the clinical trial.

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